Kon's Kwest
by Paralysistracks
Summary: Kon gets abducted from Karakura, and finds himself in another world. A world full of Ninjas. A story set in the Naruto world but also with other characters.


_**Disclaimer - I do not own any of the following characters. Or anything else... Only the story line is Mine.**_

_This story is a story that I am Beta reading for my friend, and as they don't have an account, I uploaded it onto mine. It is a mix between Comedy, Stupidity, and unexpectedness. The characters are from Bleach, Disney, Naruto and maybe some other place later. I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THEM!_

* * *

"I cannot stand this anymore, this kid is going to be the death of me" thought Kon desperately as Yuzu rolled over in her sleep-onto him. Kon wriggled free and put in his place another of Yuzu's many toys.

"This will do, I will now make another grand escape from this place, and this time, it will WORK! No Ichigo to stop me!" Kon crept out of Yuzu's room, down the dark stairs and out of the house.

The dark street was very cold. The winter nights in Karakura town were always chilly, but the cold didn't bother Kon, if he had company, he would have complained, but as he was alone, he didn't.

"Hmm, no girls out at this hour…maybe if I cause trouble, nee-san will come and rescue me, take me to her house in soul society and…" muttered Kon to himself and started to imagine a possible scenario that would make his plan succeed, but he didn't take into account that his luck was always bad. As Kon started down the dark road, two pairs of eyes were staring evilly at him.

"Hey look, over there! Can you see him?" murmured one of the shadowy figures.

"It will be a fine specimen for out experiment" shouted the other shadowy figure.

"You are talking way too loudly" shouted the first figure angrily at his companion, who replied with a hysterical scream "ok ok, I will be quiet, I won't make a sound". Both figures looked at their target. The toy was staring directly at them, and approaching them cautiously.

"Look at what you have done, he has found us, you always shout, just be quiet, maybe he will walk away", whispered the first figure softly. His companion looked at him thoughtfully and bellowed

"Oh ok, I wont make a sound anymore, don't worry, I will be silent…"

Kon looked at the direction of the voices. "A perfect time to call for my saviour, these two people must want to do me harm, now, nee-san or some other cute girl will jump in the way and rescue me". Kon stopped walking and waited to be saved. While he waited, he tried eavesdropping on the pair ahead of him, who were still lurking in the shadows.

* * *

"I am not shouting, I am talking quietly" Kon heard a deep voice yell.

"A plan? All because he has stopped walking towards us, doesn't mean he has a plan".

"I am not shouting, HE cannot hear me!"

Kon had enough of listening, and while looking hopefully down the road, he called in his scariest voice "I am Kon the mighty warrior, show yourselves before I drag you out into the light"

"Heh, drag us into the light? This one has guts, ok, we will show ourselves" answered the deep voice.

Out into the light stomped two figures, one was largish (compared to Kon) – about one meter tall and had two huge ears and a large smile painted on its massive face. The other was very small – a little larger than Kon, with long flowing blond hair and a feminine figure that attracted Kon's eyes instantly. As the two figures approached, Kon looked at them disappointedly.

"What is going on here? These two are not scary murderous kidnappers, but they are cute dolls, like me, what should I do? Will Nee-san save me from these weirdos?"

The huge doll looked at its smaller companion as they approached the confused Kon and whispered "Well, Barbie, I think I can take him out myself, you stand back and watch, we wouldn't want you breaking a nail before the test"

Barbie looked at her huge friend and yelled in a very deep voice "Yes of course Mickey Mouse, I will stay back far enough not to get in your way while you take him down"

Mickey looked angrily at Barbie and started telling her off for being loud and yelling out his plan. Kon just stared at the pair sadly.

"More Mod-souls, poor things" Kon thought, and he was about to walk over to them and tell them he was a mod soul too when Mickey leapt towards him will a war cry.

"AHHHHH, no get off, nee-san save me!" yelled Kon as he tried to kick the big doll off him. Mickey grunted as one of Kon's kicks landed on his permanently smiling face, and he stumbled backwards.

"This one has strong legs, I think some of my stuffing came out, I need repair, Barbie, take him out quickly!" ordered Mickey desperately, as he sat down on the kerb and put his hand to the tear in his mouth.

"He will regret the day he was made" answered Barbie loudly and she approached Kon slowly. Meanwhile Kon got up and saw Barbie walking slowly towards him.

"A savior at last, give me a big hug so I can…" began Kon happily, until he saw the terrifying gleam in Barbie's eye.

"COMB CARVER" screamed Barbie, and Kon felt multiple blades pierce his mane, tearing it to shreds. As he stumbled from his happy leap, Barbie ran forward, yelling wildly.

"Hair Harassment" she yelled, and Kon's vision was blocked by a mass of blond hair. He tried moving, but the hair held hi down to the road.

"What kind of techniques are these? They are so lame." Jibed Kon, trying to distract his fearsome opponent. Barbie looked down at him furiously, and Kon felt the hair around his limbs tighten.

"Now you die weakling…MANICURE MASSACRE" shouted Barbie in Kon's ear. Kon braced himself for the worst, but nothing happened, in fact, he felt the hair loosening.

"We need him alive, remember?" inquired Mickey, having finished repairing his open mouth, proceeded in picking up Kon. The victorious duo then started walking down the road, carrying a helpless Kon.

"Barbie, next time we take someone alive, don't try killing them, ok? That hair harassment technique was way too much for him anyway" explained Mickey softly, as they walked under a street lamp, illuminating the deep cuts in Kon's arms and damage to his legs.

As they left the glow of the street light, Barbie shouted "It doesn't hurt that much, here, I will show you" and suddenly her hair flew onto Mickey mouse.

"OWW! What on earth are you doing, you idiot, stop it" cried Mickey Mouse, feeling the crawling hair cutting into his wrists and ankles.

"Ahhh, nee-san" muttered a dazed Kon, feeling Barbie's hair brush him as it attacked Mickey.

"I won't stop until you apologize for calling me an idiot" stated Barbie loudly. None of the three heard the approaching car, and the car did not see them, as they had already left the friendly glow of the street light.

* * *

Kon woke up, and the first thing he noticed was that everything around him stank. He noticed that the stench was because he was lying in a sewer. Water dripped from the room, with a dull dripping sound into the slow moving river of refuse. He noticed that there was a light too, a small candle burning a meter from were he was lying. In the candles glow, stood Mickey Mouse, who looked quite battered. There was a big dent in his smiling face, which was lined with tyre tracks. Barbie looked fine, but angry.

Suddenly, Kon realized that he was tied down to a block of wood, and he saw that the two abductors were building some sort of doorway that was on the edge of the water. Kon started panicking and shouted out "Nee-san save me!! Ichigo, I am sorry I ran away, can you please come back and save me? Nee-san!"

"This idiot won't shut up" bellowed Barbie. Her very loud exclamation echoed painfully through the sewers. Mickey Mouse howled in pain as he threw his gloved hands over his oversized ears. Kon also howled as he couldn't protect his ears from the howl-he was tied up.

"Barbie, SHUT UP, and help me finish the portal" commanded Mickey Mouse, and glared at Barbie until she stopped muttering under her breath.

Kon looked at the pair and asked "What are you doing to me?"

Mickey looked down at him and answered "We are sending you to another world, we need to, if this works, we can find a safe haven for all mod-souls to live without getting killed, and then, we will rise against the evil shinigami and beat them for being cruel to us, they will regret killing us off, you will be the lab rat, and we will test this on you. Worst comes to worst, you will disappear, floating in the space between the worlds forever, if that is possible, at best you will find a world and live there in peace for the rest of your days."

Kon looked up at Mickey, who resumed his work, and cried out "NO don't send me away, I got so much here now, I got…" Kon couldn't finish as Barbie put a gag onto him. A few minutes later, both Mickey and Barbie stepped back from the portal. The portal was shaped like a crocodile's mouth-it had teeth and everything, but the back of the 'mouth' was a rainbow spiral, spinning and spinning…

Mickey Mouse looked impressed with his work "The portal is ready. Remember Barbie, when he goes through look at the spiral. If you see him land somewhere then the portal works, if he just floats in space, then we must research further. Get him ready!"

Kon felt the block of wood he was attached to get lifted roughly and he slid down it a little, causing lots of wooden splinters to enter his soft body. He couldn't complain because of the gag. He felt the block getting carried towards the terrifying portal.

"I will return here, I will warn nee-san and Ichigo of the plans that these mod-souls have, and then they will respect me, they will call me Kon-sama, and nee-san will become my guardian..." Encouraging thoughts started to fly through Kon's mind as he entered the portal.

Kon looked around. No rainbow spiral. No spinning. No dripping sound. No darkness, he was floating, surrounded by a bright white light and in total silence.

"I suppose I am dead" thought Kon. It wasn't a bad feeling. Kon didn't see anything scary-like the gates of Hell, he only saw bright white everywhere, he didn't hear anything scary or threatening, like the clanking of chains or the burning of fires, he didn't feel anything at all. He only felt weightlessness. He didn't even feel the prod of the Devil's pitchfork.

"Why am I only thinking of Hell, I wasn't that bad in life…was I? Maybe this is heaven!" Although it looked, sounded and felt like heaven, it did not smell anything like what Kon thought heaven would smell like. He could smell the decomposing stench which came from the sewer he was in, but he could also smell the fresh air of a clean land, a land without any pollution. He could also smell many other smells, only smells were in this place, nothing to see, hear, or feel, just smells.

Kon would have jumped if he could when he saw black holes appearing in the white light. They seemed far away, but he felt as if they were sucking him towards them. There were many holes, different sizes and different shapes, although they were all black. After 5 minutes of speeding towards the holes, colours started appearing in the holes. Just random colours splashed and mixed around-again, each hole had different colours spread out into different patterns.

As Kon got even closer, the colours re-arranged themselves to form scenery. One hole had the bottom of an ocean, with fish darting around coral. Another hole had a forest, with the stars visible through the tree tops. Kon felt himself being sucked towards the forest, and the white light, which at first surrounded him, began to grow weaker as he approached the hole.

"I don't think I am dead yet, their freaky portal must have worked, I hope this new land has people that can help me get home, and I hope it has cute girls!" thought Kon hopefully as he sped towards the hole.

Kon started feeling heavy, that his floating was less stable. He began to hear the sounds of the forest, the chirping of insects, the scuttle of feet of a small creature, the creaking of branches. Kon counted the seconds until he entered the hole - it had already repelled all the white light away, and now his whole view was that of the forest.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four…" Kon flew into the hole and landed on the forest floor with a 'flump'.

"Three, two, one" murmured Kon, as he sat up and rubbed his injured body. Where was he? What was this strange land? Was he still in Japan?

Kon didn't think so.

Kon got up, cursing Barbie and Mickey. He jumped as he heard footsteps, smacking onto tree branches. Surprised, Kon looked up and saw a number of figures flying above him - three males and a female. Instinctively, Kon jumped up towards the female and called

"Nee-san save me! I am lost and dying, I throw myself at your…" Kon didn't get to finish, as at the moment he opened his mouth, the four figures changed course rapidly towards him, one grabbed him and threw him to the ground, and the other three all landed around Kon, holding strangely shaped knives to Kon's torn body.

Kon looked at their faces, saw the murderous look in their eyes and screamed out "ICHIGO" before he fainted.

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_Did you like it? Please tell me! (Review)_


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